Whirlpools whirl

And dragnets drag

Writing Down the Bones - Natalie Goldberg

I recently found a book in my daughter’s room that I encouraged her to read when she was starting to write in middle school. The book “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg first published in 1986 has been in my possession for nearly 25 years and it has always represented a personal failing in my life... let me explain:

Doers do

In my last few months of college, I questioned if I was doing the right thing like most of us do. I wasn’t sure that commercial art and design was going to be my calling. I simply could not imagine being paid to do something that I enjoyed doing as much as I did. Funny, that’s how I thought, but I did think that. I went on to do a lot in those initial years out of college. The “Web” was just getting public awareness and I was an early adopter, I secured freelance clients, made a name for myself the best I could with people in my industry, and it was kinda cool rocking my tiny boat in the small pond of my industry/community. I also obtained my first industry job with a local advertising agency. I had achieved a lot in those early years, but let me explain a little more:

Creatives create

I did not graduate high school and I had not graduated college by the time I had my first advertising job. There! I said it! While I attended college through the city college system, the college credits counted towards my high school diploma and as long as I did not graduate high school, my tuition was partially covered. I had only needed to “promise” to work towards my high school diploma while attending college in order to attend. So I “promised” to do that and failed to get the last 6 credits needed in the final year of my program... no, really, there’s more, I can explain: 

Failures fail

Those few credits didn’t matter to me at the time. I had completed all the necessary classes for my chosen field and I rationalized that those credits didn’t apply to what I was going to do. But they did matter, they matter just as much as drawing did, layout, creative thinking, and my final portfolio, but I didn’t see it at the time. Having failed with so few credits needed for graduation, I thought I would finish them up with an evening class at some point... There’s more to explain here, bear with me while I explain:

Dreamers dream

While employed at my first advertising agency, I obtained my high school diploma by taking evening classes at an adult education school. I didn’t “walk” in a commencement, but I certainly understood how good it felt to get that piece of paper. The pulp of completion never smelled so sweet. Having tasted that success, I set out to “live the dream” by re-enrolling in college and finish up the remaining credits for my college degree. All of my credits still counted, but I had to take two classes in order to get my Associates of Arts degree. I enrolled in a creative writing class and had planned on taking another class the following quarter. I purchased the books, attended a few sessions and dropped the class after a month or so. I enjoyed the work, the teacher, and the class, but... but... but... I can explain:

Readers read

Like a lot of students, I just never went back. I continued to work in my field and never returned to college. I continued to learn new techniques, technologies, and whatever interested me, but I never obtained that degree. The last piece of pulp I received from an educational institution was that book I mentioned at the start of this post and it has haunted me (in a sense) ever since. Always showing up during some spring cleaning or finding its way to the front of the bookshelf somehow. Always reminding me that 1) I never finished college and 2) I never did read that book. But wait! There’s a point to all this... “Ima let you finish”, but gimmie a second:

Writers write

I started this blog with a desire to get these types of thoughts out of my head and to explore writing with more intention than I had in the past. More than just a personal cathartic experience, I hope to improve my skill at writing and hopefully connect with you (dear reader) on a deeper, more meaningful level. When that book found its way to the top of my bookshelf recently, I decided to finally read it and I am glad I did. I can finally say that it was worth the wait and that it certainly came along at the right place and at the right time. The point? Well, I think it just might be what Natalie Goldberg said it was at the end of her book:

““And though we would rather be in the high hills of Tibet than at our desks in Newark, New Jersey, and though death is howling at our backs and life is roaring at our faces, we can just begin to write, simply begin to write what we have to say.” – Natalie Goldberg”

Thank you Natalie Goldberg!!!